My mother, Loudimar Carig, and my father, Jherwin Carig, met when they were still young. Like many beginnings, their story started with a simple connection that grew deeper over time. They first became friends, sharing moments that eventually turned into something more. Soon, friendship blossomed into love, and they began dating. During those days, even though life wasn’t easy, they dreamed about building a life together and starting their own family.
Their love blossomed right away, and they welcomed their firstchild, my sister Jerry Lou Carig, on May 16, 2004. Getting a child turned their world around. They were overjoyed and thrilled, and they were ready to take on the challenge of raising a child. They got married and legalized their union a month after. It was a quiet celebration, but special in the sense that it marked the beginning of their life as a married couple.
But weeks became months, and the rude awakening of life soon caught up with them. Money was always a problem now. It was not easy living for themselves and their new born baby child. Stress and hardship eventually wore out their relationship, and so they decided to drift apart. It was a painful time for both of them, but despite all the hardships, the love that they had for each other never totally faded away.
But again, there were interferences. The same problems of finance and stability crept back into our lives, and my parents again split up. The split was final this time though. My sister and I were left in the hands of our second mother because she was also like a grandmother to us. She loved and took care of us during those difficult times when our parents were no longer a family anymore.
When my sister and I started school for the very first time, life was much different from the way life is at present. The two of us both went to daycare together I was but four years old while my sister was five. Although it was only daycare, it was like taking a giant leap in our little lives. I was very dependent upon gazing at my aunt and grandmother at that time. I would daily weep if I couldn’t see them looking after us. The reassurance of having them around gave me a feeling of strength, and in their absence, I felt lost. Even my teacher used to call my guardians and tell them, maybe that I was too young to attend school yet since I was still connected to my family. Due to this, I never attended there for the remainder of the year.
The following year, my family again put me at the same daycare, and I was healthier. I had become bigger a little, and I was slowly gaining independence. I no longer wept every time I could no longer see my auntie or grandmother anymore, and everyone was proud of me. My mother decided to move us from our grandmother’s custody at the end of daycare to live with her again. We moved to Guibang, Gamu, Isabela. That is where I initially started kindergarten, while my sister joined Grade 1. Those were something special to me: my dad and mom back together. My sister and I were really so happy because we were complete again as a family.
When I finished kindergarten, I then joined Grade 1. That was when I actually started studying seriously. From Grade 1 to my Grade 4, I always came out first in class. My parents were contented too and were so proud that they glowed with joy every time they saw me return with a certificate or medal. Learning was not only about grades for me, but being able to make my mom and dad proud too.
But it happened when I was in Grade 5. My mother and father separated again, but this time because of money. It was an actual sad experience for me and my sister. We knew what was happening but were too immature to acknowledge the fact easily. I remember my sister and me even tried to get them to re-unite, begging them to be together, but nothing happened. All our efforts just resulted in frustration, and mom would gripe at us sometimes because she was worked up too. That was when I first knew how fragile family life is.
A few years passed, and when I was in Grade 7, my parents had never made amends. I had already accepted it by then, but it had a huge impact on me. First of all, I still worked hard, with the same amount of dedication that I had previously. But then, after that, I started hanging out with friends who were not so good. That is when skipping school, skipping class, and spending time at computer shops instead of studying began. I spent hours playing video games there that I could have used for studying. My parents were upset and furious with me at the time. They had no idea why I was making such choices, let alone after I had been such a good student to begin with.
All of that came to an end again in Grade 9 with the pandemic. Overnight, I was no longer able to just leave the house, and I was confined at home. My sole means of escape was my phone. It was then that I began playing mobile games like Mobile Legends and Call of Duty Mobile. Gradually, I became addicted. My world was gaming during the lockdown period. The pandemic also brought new things into my life, I found my first girlfriend during the pandemic. While as exciting as it was, it also took away my attention from studying even more.
When taking strand selection for Senior High School at the time the pandemic had been over and I was in Grade 12, I took STEM. It’s because I wished to be an architect. I wished to plan buildings, build structures, and create things. I worked hard in school and was able to graduate from Senior High with honors. It was my family’s pride and mine as well.
After graduation, colleges were the next thing to choose. This was another milestone in my life. My sister was admitted to a private college because she needed to study nursing. My parents supported her ambition, and my dad funded most of her needs while my mom gave her allowance. For me, I was in IT, as much as it was not my choice. My own aspiration was to become an architect, but because my sister’s education was costly, I had to sacrifice my dreams. I comforted myself that it was alright, that I would study, but within me, I felt a little behind.
I couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at times. Every time I needed something from school, I was always told that my sister would be given priority because her fees and tuition were too high. I went through my first and second year studying IT without even getting access to my own laptop. It was terribly tough for me, but I still survived. And then all that changed when my sister committed mistakes that frustrated my parents. Because of that, they looked at me. Now I am being gazed at and informed that I am the one that should graduate first.
Even though I am still bitter against my sister for getting all the attention and support initially, just to disappoint our parents afterwards, I have also learned to accept it. I am currently in my third year at the university studying IT and I work harder than ever before. I never got the opportunity to carry on studying further to become an architect as I used to dream when I was a child, but I have set myself up with a new dream one that I can achieve through sheer determination and hard work.
If I go back far enough, I can see how far I have come. From a small boy who wept because he couldn’t see his grandmother, to being a good student, to getting lost due to friends and video games, to finding my way again with every step of my life leading me to where I am today. Life wasn’t smooth all the way, and at times I was jealous, furious, and in pain. But through it all, the challenges hardened me.
I am committed today never to disappoint my parents. They have given up too much for me and my sister, and I owe them to fight to the end. I would like to graduate, acquire a career, and be in a position to pay back all they have lost for me someday. This is my story, and it continues.